Saturday, December 7, 2013

Kindle Fire Giveaway December 2013

December Kindle Fire

Win a Kindle Fire HDX, Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash ($229 value)   This is a joint AUTHOR & BLOGGER GIVEAWAY EVENT! Bloggers & Authors have joined together and each chipped in a little money towards a Kindle Fire HDX 7".

 
The winner will have the option of receiving a 7" Kindle Fire HDX (US Only - $229 Value)
 
 
Or $229 Amazon.com Gift Card (International)
 
 
Or $229 in Paypal Cash (International)
 
 
December Kindle Fire Giveaway #2 Sponsors
  1. I Am A Reader, Not A Writer
  2. Feed Your Reader
  3. Darker Passions
  4. Author Talia Jager
  5. The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl
  6. Kelly P's Blog
  7. Kelly's Lucky You
  8. LeahSay's Views
  9. Author Bella Street
  10. Author Bonnie Blythe
  11. Feed Your Fiction Addiction
  12. Blogging the Beloved
  13. Fae Books
  14. Author Kelli Beck
  15. Barb's Wire - eBooks & More
  16. MumbleBee Inc.
  17. MyLadyWeb: Women's History and Women Authors
  18. I Know That Book!
  19. NESSAROX
  20. The Reporter and the Girl
  21. My Story That I Like Best
  22. Jessica Loves Book
  23. Author Jennie Sherwin
  24. Candace's Book Blog
  25. Attack of the Books!
  26. Author Elizabeth Seckman
  27. Author Rosanne Rivers
  28. Author Carole Lanham
  29. Author Jennifer L. Weil
  30. The Real Bookshelves of Room 918
  31. Author David Pandolfe
  32. Author Georgina Young-Ellis
  33. Author C.J. Burright
  34. Author Derek Rempfer
  35. Book Crushin
  36. Laloba Press
  37. Author Louise Caiola
  38. Author Becky Monson
  39. Write Story Editing
  40. Bookworm Lisa
  41. Author John D. Mimms
  42. Author Heidi Garrett
  43. Stanley and Katrina Pet Authors
  44. Author Carol Davis Luce
  45. Author A. Wrighton
  46. The Late Bloomer's Book Blog
  47. Immortal Ink Publishing
  48. Circus of Lost Souls
  49. Author Inger Iversen
  50. Author Tracy Jorgensen
  51. Author Christy Hayes
  52. Author Lisa C. Temple
Sign up to sponsor the next Kindle Fire Giveaway:

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Giveaway Details

1 winner will receive their choice of an all new Kindle Fire 7" HDX (US Only - $229 value), $229 Amazon Gift Card or $229 in Paypal Cash (International).

There is a second separate giveaway for bloggers who post this giveaway on their blog. See details in the rafflecopter on how to enter to win the 2nd Kindle Fire HDX 7". Ends 1/1/14 Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the participating authors & bloggers. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

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Book Blitz & Giveaway ~ Stir Me Up by Sabrina Elkins

 
Stir Me Up
Release Date: 10/01/13
Harlequin Teen

Summary from Goodreads:
 
Cami Broussard has her future all figured out. She'll finish her senior year of high school, then go to work full-time as an apprentice chef in her father's French restaurant, alongside her boyfriend, Luke. But then twenty-year-old ex-Marine Julian Wyatt comes to live with Cami's family while recovering from serious injuries. And suddenly Cami finds herself questioning everything she thought she wanted.
 
Julian's all attitude, challenges and intense green-brown eyes. But beneath that abrasive exterior is a man who just might be as lost as Cami's starting to feel. And Cami can't stop thinking about him. Talking to him. Wanting to kiss him. He's got her seriously stirred up. Her senior year has just gotten a lot more complicated….
 
Excerpt
 
Julian’s in cutoff sweats and no shirt and he’s trying to reach from the weight bench where he’s seated to the door handle of the small fridge, which is just a few inches too far away from him. From my hiding spot by the doorway, I can see his surprisingly V-shaped bare back, and the rise of muscle that runs from his shoulders to his neck, and the cut of his arms. I clear my throat and he turns.
 
Okay, there are guys who are utterly ripped, like bodybuilders. That’s not Julian. He’s not stacked like a bodybuilder. He’s just… buff, in this way, in this utterly sensual way. Like his pecs aren’t huge and bulging, they’re just pronounced enough. His chest, like his back, is broad and his body tapers in at the waist, leading to another hint of a V-shape pointing down from his hip bones, and above this the shadowy lines of a six-pack. He sees me. “Hello.”
 
My insides clench. Suddenly, I can’t look at him. “Can’t sleep?”
 
“No. I figured I might as well do something useful.”
 
“But now you’ll have to get your wheelchair all the way back up to the house.”
 
I glance at him and catch him studying me. “Yeah, I guess I will.”
 
Probably on account of his injuries, Julian is stretching out his left leg and leaning back on the bench instead of just bending the leg and sitting normally. This is what’s giving me such an amazing view. Of his sweatiness. The sweat has dampened his hair, it’s filming his skin. There are a handful of scars on his chest, and with his head back a little like it is, my eye can trace the line up those scars in a kind of zigzag pattern.
 
I gulp down some air and hope he can’t hear it. But he must, because that curve at the corner of his mouth deepens a little.
 
“Can you come here a minute?”
 

Available from:
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About the Author
 
Sabrina Elkins, author of Stir Me Up, has also worked as a journalist, movie copywriter and prep cook. She graduated from USC and currently lives with her husband and three children in the greater Los Angeles area.
 
Sabrina loves hearing from her readers, and encourages you to visit her at www.sabrinaelkins.com, on Twitter @sabrina_elkins, Facebook at elkins.sabrina, and Goodreads.
 
***Author Links***
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GIVEAWAY

Win 1 of 3 stockings filled with holiday candy, chocolates, a hand-crafted Christmas charm bracelet and $10 Amazon gift card.  Open Internationally. Void where prohibited.

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Book Blitz Organized by:

Book Blitz & Giveaway ~ Beyond by S.P. van der Lee


Beyond (Beyond)
Release date: November 25th 2013

Summary from Goodreads:

Sixteen-year-old Raven desperately wants to fit in, but after using a Ouija Board, her already overwhelming hallucinations take a turn for the worse. A ghostly figure named Sam begins to haunt Raven and seems eager to kill her.

She’s saved by a reclusive biker named Damian who goes to the same school and appears to have an interest in her. Raven can’t help but feel drawn to him. Determined to uncover Damian’s connection to the ghost, Raven sets out to discover his secret and the reason Sam started haunting her. However, there’s more at stake than just her reputation. Raven’s choice between unveiling Damian’s true intentions, and living a normal life will put everyone she cares about at risk. To save them, she'll have to go beyond.

Lives are ruined.
Hearts are shattered.
Death lurks at every corner.

Excerpt
 
Never before have I felt such fear, suffocating and unrelenting. If my heart continues to beat the way it is, I might die. My hallucinations have never taken the form of a humanlike figure before. Just thinking about the smoke he emitted makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
 
The only things I’ve ever seen were items being moved around or floating lights, which made people think I was nuts. But just now, at the party, I saw a real shady figure, and he moved the wooden arrow.
 
I pedal as fast as I can. I can’t look back, because I’m afraid I might see something that will make my heart stop. I have to get out of here.
 
Simon and Emma are yelling at me from Lillian’s home, but I’m not listening to what they’re saying. I just tell myself that everything has been a fantasy, even though it still bothers me. Hallucinations should only affect me, not my surroundings. They’re not supposed to be able to touch a Ouija board.
 
Calm down, Raven. Maybe my pills will work.
 
I pull the brakes and come to a stop so quick that I have to put both feet on the ground so I don’t fall over. I grab my bag and rummage through it, looking for the bottle. The pills that reduce the intensity of my hallucinations should be in there. My mom always makes me take them along wherever I go.
 
But they’re not in my bag. How could I have forgotten them? How could I have been so stupid? In my haste to get to the party I must’ve forgotten to pack them. What do I do without my meds?
 
I throw my bag on the ground and exhale a few times before picking it up again. I snort and brush away the sweat from my forehead. Well, nothing I can do about it now. I’ll have to get home as quick as I can.
 
I hop on my mountain bike again and force myself to pedal. It isn’t real. My head is playing tricks. I’m me, not my delusions.
 
They’re all fake.
 
I bike across the road and swallow a couple of times. Maybe the anxiety will go away then. I check my surroundings to assure myself that everything I see is beyond a doubt there and not all in my head.
 
Then I see them, a group of figures in the cemetery.
 
Only they aren’t just figures. Shadows are watching me.
 
Their faces are smooth and unwavering. Their eyes are hollow. Surrounding them is a black and white mist-like fog. The people all look different, but with one similarity; I can see right through them.
 
I shriek and peddle as hard as my feet will allow me, past the cemetery. I’m going nuts. I see things that aren’t really there. Delusions that are so terrifying I feel like I’m going to faint again. This isn’t real. It can´t be! I’m trying to convince myself.
 
Tears roll down my face, and my lungs burn. The warmth of my overheated body makes my soaking wet clothes prickle against my skin. I’m heaving, totally out of breath.
 
In the forest beside me, I spot the shades again. They’re everywhere. At least, I think, but they don’t look like just shadows anymore. They look like real people.
 
Am I hallucinating about ghosts? Their black and white glow is as clear as daylight in the darkness.  The lampposts light the cement path. At first I think the entities are staring into nothing, but then they chase after me.
 
I bike even harder, but my thighs burn. I’m already past my limit. I steal a glimpse, and the floating ghosts are still following me, floating.
 
“Stop! Stop it!” I scream and close my eyes, hoping they will disappear, but when I open them again they’re still there.
 
One of the ghosts drifts closer. It moves so fast, I’m unable to spot it until it’s in my face with its mouth open.
 
I shriek and flap my hands, hoping to push the attacker away, but it doesn’t work. It’s already gone. The shadow went right through me.

I’m wobbling so much I lose my balance and fall off my bike. My head hits the asphalt, surging burning pain to the side of my skull. I’m dizzy, and everything around me fades to black.
 

Available from:
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Check out the trailer here!
 
"I loved the premise of the book & I loved the characters. The ending left me wanting more..." ~ Lisa W.
 
“Finally this ends my dry spell of unsatisfying fantasy novels! I loved the plot! I can't help but get hooked into it as the story unfolds.” ~ Poecilia from Goodreads
 
“The book is very good. It has really good mystery in it and a cliffhanger in the end that leaves you screaming for the second book.” ~ Katie from Goodreads

About the Author
 
I am a writer and reader of YA Paranormal Romance novels and aspire to be a well known author. I love reading the same genre, as well as Dystopian and an occasional fantasy book. In my spare time, when I'm not reading books, I like to play games such as RPG's.
 
I have a bachelor in Digital Communication and enjoy pretty much anything that has to do with technology :)
 
BEYOND will be published on November 25th 2013. I'm currently available for Promos, spotlights, reviews, interviews, guest posts, you name it! Just send me a message :)
 
Author Links:
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5 signed E-book copies of Beyond (INT)
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Book Blast & Giveaway ~ Silver-White by Shawn Underhill

 
 
Silver-White by Shawn Underhill
 
“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep.” ~ Robert Frost
 
*Evie’s family has been holding out on her …
 
Big time.
 
On an unexpected visit to her grandparents’ house in New Hampshire’s secluded North Woods, the sixteen-year-old literally runs into the truth of the long-hidden family secrets, and finds herself thrust without warning into the clandestine world of the Great North Pack—a wild and exhilarating world of rugged beauty, heart-pounding adventures, and long nights running under a sea of stars … but as she’s set to discover, a world also fraught with potential dangers lurking in the shadows.
 
Praise
 
"Simply put, this book was amazing. I've read more fantasy novels than I can count, but this one is certainly one of the best. The heroine isn't some wishy-washy pansy that screams at everything, and the focus of the story isn't on some unbelievably beautiful teenage girl who suddenly becomes the biggest, baddest member of her species falling in love with some big, bad, sexy member of her newfound species. It's about a girl becoming something she never knew existed, finding her place within the pack family she values more than ever before, and an age-old feud that threatens everything she loves." ~Morgan
 
Purchase ~ just .99 cents
 
 
Author Shawn Underhill
 
Shawn is a part-time writer from New Hampshire, where he spends his free time hiking in the mountains, camping, racing dirt bikes, or anything else that keeps him outdoors. Dogs are his very favorite people. He is also the author of the novel All Things Different.
 
 
 
BookBlast $100 Giveaway
 
$100 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash
 
Ends 12/31/13
 
Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader, Not A Writer and sponsored by the author. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.
 

Touring ~ Dead Stock by Tim Hall

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Dead Stock
 by Tim Hall
 
…action and adventure and a big who killed Corky!
 
 Published by Cozy Cat Press (October 16, 2013)
Paperback: 200 pages
 ISBN-13: 978-1939816214
 E-Book File Size: 740 KB
 ASIN: B00FYX9SLU
 
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Synopsis
 
Meet Bert Shambles, a perpetually confused young man whose life continually mirrors his surname. He is stuck back in his suburban Long Island hometown, enduring a three-year suspended sentence for an act of chivalry gone terribly wrong. He works part-time at a church thrift shop and makes extra money by selling “dead stock”—vintage clothes that have never been worn—to a local boutique.
 
On a routine pick up for the thrift shop, Bert learns that the widow of a recently deceased pro golfer is offering a reward for the return of her dead husband’s favorite putter—and an even bigger reward for proof that her husband was murdered. Bert jumps at the chance, and soon finds himself being chased by a violent, van-driving maniac, romantically involved with a mobster’s daughter, and quite possibly being set up to take the fall by his probation officer and crazy ex-girlfriend. As the forces of good and evil close in around him, Bert must race to clear his name and discover the truth so he doesn’t wind up in prison…or worse.
 
Filled with twists, turns, and unforgettable characters, and propelled by a truly lovable hero and wicked sense of humor, Dead Stock heralds the arrival of a wonderful new mystery series.
 
goodreads-badge-add-plus
 
About Tim Hall
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Tim Hall has had a long and varied career in the underground and independent press as a journalist, author, and as co-founder of the Outsider Writers Collective. He has collaborated with many illustrators and fine artists, including with Emmy Award winning artist Dean Haspiel on “The Last Mortician”, published by Tor.com in 2010 (link here). Tim grew up on Long Island, where his Bert Shambles mysteries are set. He lives in New York City.
 
Interview
 
How long have you been writing?
Since I was 11.  I'm 47 now. I can't do the math, but maybe someone can.
 
Who is your favorite author and why?
My favorite author is probably John D. MacDonald. I just love everything about his Travis McGee series. He brought a seriousness to pulp fiction that very few others have.
 
What are your favorite things to do besides writing?
Cooking, jogging, playing with my son, wandering the streets of NYC, and a few things that I can't repeat here.
 
What was the hardest scene for you to edit out?
In the first draft of DEAD STOCK I had a very different third act that took the protagonist to Montauk, Long Island for the pre-climax. When my agent(s) told me to cut those scenes it was very difficult, but the book became much better as a result.
 
How, when and why did you first start writing?
I wrote my first novel, a cheap knockoff of The Lord of the Rings, when I was 11. Before that I tried writing song lyrics. My first song was for the band KISS. It was called "I Can't See Her No More ('Cause She Just Sprayed My Eyes With Mace)"--I thought it was an awesome song but never had the guts to send it to the band.
 
What is the best book that you've read recently?
Cutie, by Donald Westlake.
 
Author Links:
Twitter: @timhallbooks
 
Purchase Link:

 Hosted by
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Friday, December 6, 2013

Blog Tour ~ Thanks, That Was Fun by Andie Nash

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Thanks, That Was Fun Blog Tour
 
Displaying thanks.jpg
 
Book Description
 October 7, 2011
 
“Compelling and laugh-out-loud funny. The whip-smart dialogue, sharply drawn characters and unconventional ending make it a satisfying read for anyone who is single, heartbroken, in love, or in between.”  -- S. Parker Ross, author of "City Zen"
 
"...like gossiping with your closest girlfriends over a bottomless glass of wine. The characters are well-developed and the plot oddly suspenseful. I read it in two sittings, mesmerized by Nash’s ability to illustrate a very complicated and emotional time in this young woman’s life, without pontification and with plenty of humor."  --Angela Weldon
 
Jordan Lockhart is a struggling artist who is 30, underemployed, oversexed, and screwed up. She’s coming off a disastrous streak of drunken night stands and dead-end relationships when she rekindles a romance with ex-boyfriend Mark Chaplin, “the one that got away.” Against her better judgment, Jordan soon finds herself falling once again for Mark, a quirky, charming, pot-smoking massage therapist. The sex is great, their chemistry is red-hot, and just when it seems that their romance might actually work this time around, Jordan discovers that Mark has also fallen in love…with his cute bisexual neighbor.
 
Heartbroken, Jordan seeks solace in boozing it up with her motley crew of friends: Dean, an overweight, lovelorn librarian, Genna, a banker on a perpetual search for Mr. Right, and Iris, a single mother who views parenthood as somewhere between a part-time job and a hobby. Jordan bitterly swears off men and relationships to focus on her art and her budding alcoholism. Then she meets Louis.
 
Louis Avery is a twenty-year-old artist and devout Catholic with movie-star looks and “an ass like Brad Pitt.” Jordan falls hard for Louis, who enjoys her affections but strives to concentrate on his paintings and remain chaste, much to Jordan's chagrin. When Louis announces a plan to move to the wilds of Alaska to live “the natural life," Jordan hatches a desperate, hilarious plan to convince him to stay.
 
"Thanks, That Was Fun" is a frantic modern love story with laugh-out-loud dialogue and compelling characters that remain with you long after you’ve turned the last page.
 
Now available for purchase via
 
Amazon UK: Thanks, That Was Fun
Barnes & Noble:Thanks, That Was Fun
Smashwords: Thanks, That Was Fun

Dreamcast

Louis

Louis

Jordan


 
Dean
 
Displaying Tobey Maguire (Mark Chaplin).jpg
 
Mark
 
 
Iris
 
PLAYLIST for Thanks, That Was Fun by Andie Nash

"Lover, You Should've Come Over" -- Jeff Buckley
"God Help the Girl" -- God Help the Girl
"A Little Sugar in My Bowl" -- Nina Simone
"A Question of Time" -- Depeche Mode
"Trip Through Your Wires" -- U2
"Dancing Barefoot" -- Patti Smith
"Falling is Like This" -- Ani Di Franco
"Broken Hearted Savior" -- Big Head Todd and the Monsters
"Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" -- Stars
"Disconnect the Dots" -- Of Montreal
"Flying High Again" -- Ozzy Osbourne
"Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" -- Elton John
"Sunday Morning Coming Down" -- Johnny Cash
"The Part You Throw Away" -- Tom Waits
"Thanks That Was Fun" -- Barenaked Ladies
 
Chapter 3 "Stepping Out"
 
“Okay Jordan,” Iris says. “Point me toward the most fucked up guy in the room so I can get this over with.”
 
“You’re on your own tonight, sis,” I tell her, scanning the gallery. “I don’t recognize anyone here. They must all be Herron people.”
 
“Look, there’s the Skipper.” Iris deadpans, pointing with her glass at a rotund, white-haired man in a black turtleneck. He’s clutching a whisky glass in his fat fingers and talking enthusiastically to a skinny blonde, who looks like she’d rather be receiving an enema.
 
Iris cranes her neck, searching the room for Genna.
 
“I don’t see Genna--oh Jesus, are those elbow patches on that jacket?”
 
I follow her gaze past the Skipper, where a lanky man in a turd-colored corduroy blazer is standing with his back to us, chatting with a pale redhead.
 
“Yep, those are elbow patches. He’s going for that junior college professor look, I think.”
 
“Lord, the fashion crimes you see at these things.” Iris shudders. “That’s gonna drive me to drink.” She swallows the last of her wine.
 
I can’t put my finger on it, but something about the guy in the corduroy jacket seems eerily familiar. It’s something in his stance and demeanor, something that’s giving me a déjà vu feeling in the pit of my stomach. I raise my wineglass to my lips, obscuring my face from view as I squint across the room, trying to get a better look at him.
 
“Jordan, what are you staring at?” I hear Iris say.
 
I take a large swallow of Merlot just as the corduroy guy turns to the woman on his left, giving me a full view of his profile.
 
“Holy shit!” I gasp, sucking wine into my windpipe.
 
“Are you okay?” Iris says, thumping me on the back. “Jesus, what happened?”
 
“That guy over there, I used to go out with him,” I stage-whisper.
 
“Who?”
            “The corduroy jacket,” I say.
 
“Patches?” Iris cackles loudly. “You used to go out with him?”
 
“Shhhhhhh!” I hiss. “That’s Mark. I’ve told you about Mark before,”
 
“Mark,” Iris repeats blankly. “Oh, Mark,” she nods slowly. “Yeah, weren’t you like, majorly in love with him at one point?”
 
“I can’t believe he’s here,” I say, ignoring her question. “This is too weird.”
 
“What, seeing him at an art opening?” Iris says. “Why is that weird? Do you know how many men I’ve slept with in this room?”
 
This revelation prompts concerned looks from two women admiring a nearby glass vase.
 
“Say that a little louder. I don’t think everyone heard you,” I tell her.
 
Iris stares openly at Mark while I cringe behind her.
 
"I hate to break it to you, but he’s not cute at all. I don’t see why you’re freaking out,”
 
“It just caught me off guard,” I say, “I haven’t seen him in two years.”
 
“Are you going to talk to him?”
 
“What am I going to say?”
 
“I don’t know…ask him why he’s wearing my father’s corduroy jacket from 1983."
 
“Shut up. You’re not helping anything,” I take a slow drink from my glass, trying to steady myself.
 
“You’re shaking like a crackhead!” says Iris. “I don’t believe you. Just grow some balls and go over there.”
“I can’t. I don’t want him to think I noticed him first,”
 
“Oh my God,” Iris rolls her eyes. “Jordan, it’s happened. You are officially lame.”
 
Genna reappears then, a bemused smile on her face.
 
“Okay, number one, where did you and the waiter run off to, and number two, how big is he?” Iris says.
 
“Number one, we were over by that steel sculpture-which is his-and number two,” Genna pauses, shooting a disdainful glance at Iris, “I have no idea. He has a wedding ring, anyway.”
 
“So?” Iris shrugs.
 
Genna cocks her head. “No. Uh-uh. I am not about to be the other woman,”
 
“If it’s not you, honey, it’ll be someone else,” says Iris, shaking her head.
 
“This argument sounds mighty familiar,” I say, rolling my eyes at both of them.
 
“You guys are tight-asses,” Iris proclaims. “I need a cigarette.”
 
“Hold on, I’ll join you in a minute,” I say, looking over her shoulder at Mark, who is now engaged in an animated conversation with Ty and his big Afro.
 
Iris huffs, tossing her head in frustration.
 
“Oh, come on, I’m not standing around with my thumb up my ass until that dork notices you.”
 
“What dork?” asks Genna.
 
“Mark’s here,” I tell her.
 
“Mark who?” she says loudly.
 
“Shhhhhh!” I hiss, and Iris cackles.
 
“Remember, the massage therapist?” I say.
 
“The one who was really good in bed?” Genna asks, eyes wide. “Wasn’t he an asshole or something?”
 
“Of course he was an asshole. Jordan dated him,” Iris says.
 
Genna and I both look at her.
 
“Excuse me, I think you’re the one with the asshole fetish, hon.” I say.
 
“Yeah, one word: Frank,”
 
Iris just shakes her head.
 
“I’m going for a smoke. Screw you both."
 
Genna turns back to me.
 
“Well, where is he?” she asks excitedly.
 
“He’s over there in the brown jacket, talking to the dude with the ‘fro.”
 
Genna squints in his direction.
 
“That’s Mark?” she asks, looking puzzled.
 
“Okay, I know. He’s not George Clooney.”
 
“No, he’s kinda cute.” Genna said. She looks at me, then back over at Mark. “He’s cute in that nerdy sort of way that you go for.”
 
“Yeah,” I agree, smiling wistfully.
 
“So are you going to talk to him?”
 
I hesitate. “I think so. I’m nervous, though.”
 
“Have some more wine."
 
“Yeah, liquid courage. That’s what I need.” I look around for the waiter. “Where’s your man?”
 
Genna shrugs.
 
“I dunno. Maybe refilling his tray. Do you want me to go get you a glass?”
 
“That’d be great,” I say, still not wanting to move.
 
“Okay, I’ll be back. Deep breaths."
 
I watch Genna’s retreating form, chewing my nails, then turn and pretend to study the giant stone vagina.
 
“Well, how are you doing, young lady?”
 
I turn, startled, to stare into the big red face of the Skipper.
 
“Good,” I manage to gasp.
 
“Oops, sorry-didn’t mean to frighten you there,” he chuckles, and reaches out to squeeze my forearm. I look down at his hand, wondering why I’m being groped by the doppelganger of a dead sitcom star.
 
“Oh, that’s okay, you didn’t,” I say, laughing artificially along with him.
 
He studies me, his eyes narrowing.
 
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
 
Oh good Lord. What a time for one of these. I try to force another weak smile, knowing for sure that at least I’d never slept with the guy.
 
“Um,” I fumble. Okay, elderly artsy guy, I think, searching for a possible connection. “Do you-know my mother?” I ask.
 
He looks vaguely insulted. “Ed O’Malley,” says the Skipper. “I monitored the Stone Sculpture class last spring.”
 
“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry.” Okay, now I’m remembering him. He used to leer at me creepily when I would go in to check on the Wednesday night Stone class. “I, uh-I guess I just didn’t recognize you without your safety goggles.”
 
The Skipper coughs out a loud, wheezy laugh, and I fidget with my glass uncomfortably.
 
“I was actually working on this piece during that time,” he says, gesturing toward the giant stone vagina. So this is his work. That makes sense.
 
“Yes, it’s very nice,” I say robotically.
 
The Skipper rubs his chin and looks at his masterpiece, then at me.
 
“You all by yourself tonight?” he asks my breasts.
 
I open my mouth to answer, scanning the room for Genna or Iris. They’re nowhere in sight.
 
“I’m here with some friends and my boy-“
 
“Jordan?”
 
Suddenly Mark is standing next to the Skipper, smiling at me with wonder and amazement.
“Hi,” I squeak.
 
He doesn’t answer right away; he just stands there for a moment in his brown corduroyed glory, his eyes crinkling up as he takes me in, grinning with approval. I stare back at him paralyzed.
 
 
 
About the Author
 
Originally from Indianapolis (Kurt Vonnegut's hometown), Andie Nash is the author of Thanks, That Was Fun, available on Kindle and Smashwords.
 
She is currently working on a sequel to Thanks, due out in early 2014.
 
She lives in Reno, NV with her husband and their two cats.
 
Contact Andie
 
 
 
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